


My Roommate Is a Forest Fairy

by dracometria



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Choi Soobin is Whipped, Cuddling, Fairy Tale Elements, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Flower Language, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Soft Huening Kai, a tiny bit of angst, choi line whipped for hyuka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracometria/pseuds/dracometria
Summary: Kai nods. “Gardenias mean 'you’re lovely',” he says shyly as he squeezes Soobin’s hand.Soobin smiles fondly and presses a kiss against Kai’s forehead. “You’re lovelier.”
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun & Huening Kai, Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun
Comments: 37
Kudos: 180





	My Roommate Is a Forest Fairy

**Author's Note:**

> **210303 update** : cera has blessed this fic with BEAUTIFUL art. i've attached it to the end of this fic, please don't repost onto any other site!  
>  ~~  
> hi it's me!! i changed my user from dracometria i hope you can still recognize me >3< bunnyhug is a word for 'hoodie' in a region of canada and guess who likes bunnies, hugs, and hoodies? i am a ningdungie before anything hehe  
> ~~
> 
> this was written using @sparklehuening's amazing forest fairy prompt found [here](https://twitter.com/sparklehuening/status/1265371482474995712) (with permission)
> 
> this fic was really long so i hope you'll be able to bear with me! some.....suspension of belief is needed haha my writing style once again is inconsistent but i hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> i don't want to give any spoilers so i'll add the flower glossary at the end! the meanings and definitions i used were pulled from wiki, but many flowers have multiple meanings especially depending on region!

Soobin’s new roommate is a little weird. Very cute, but weird.

For one, he’s apparently never had pizza before. When they threw him a small welcome party with the aforementioned refreshments, Kai’s sole interest had only been the food. In fact, Kai seems to be fascinated by anything that isn’t fresh produce—chips, rice cakes, ice cream (mint ice cream specifically, to the extreme joy of Yeonjun, “He’s my favorite now.”)—even grape juice, which he seems to be particularly fond of. The running hypothesis is that Kai likely comes from an extremely wealthy family. 

“Even Beomgyu wasn’t that bad,” Yeonjun says. “At least he knew what ramen was.” This earns him a smack. 

“He’s a different type of rich,” Beomgyu mutters. “He’s never even seen a washing machine in his life.” 

Kai is in the habit of leaving his clothes strewn everywhere—always brand name, always very expensive. Even Beomgyu had been impressed. After they quickly realize it’s because Kai didn’t know how to do laundry, or how to pick up after himself really, Beomgyu takes it upon himself to spend an afternoon teaching him. After the first few disastrous attempts, Kai seems to get the hang of it, although he ruined many of his whites in the process, which bothers Beomgyu more than himself. He doesn't seem to mind that a good portion of his clothes are now unwearable.

“Wonder what goes on in that cute little head of his,” Yeonjun muses.

There’s not much they can complain about though, because Kai’s parents volunteered to pay the lion’s share of the rent on top of giving them a very generous food allowance, provided that they included Kai in on their meals. Yeonjun ends up meal prepping most of the food given Kai’s erratic sleep schedule. Not the weirdest thing about Kai—Soobin can’t really cook either. 

Speaking of Kai’s parents, Soobin had been the one to speak with them over the phone. It had been a short conversation—the only thing they seemed to be concerned with was the abnormally spacious backyard the house had. After Soobin answered a few questions about the yard—were there any trees (no), could Kai garden (yes), and would they allow Kai full control over the yard if they paid a disproportionately large amount of the rent (yes, after a lengthy discussion with Yeonjun and Beomgyu, the money was too good to pass up)—Kai’s parents had immediately agreed to sign the lease. They had also requested for the contract to be modified per their agreement on Kai’s use of the yard. Beomgyu’s lawyer approved of the addendum, and the day after, Kai moved in. 

They had all been curious about why Kai’s parents had been so adamant over the backyard—was Kai taking botany courses in university, maybe? Or maybe he was trying to grow his own flowers and plants to start a business? Though with his sleeping “schedule” and refusal to leave the house, he doesn’t seem to be a university student. Kai himself didn’t volunteer any useful information, only cheerfully smiling and stating that he really, really loves nature. 

(That much is obvious.) 

It’s the hours that Kai chooses to tend to the yard that’s weird. It’s the beginning of spring, so there’s no real reason to avoid the sun. Based on Soobin’s observations at night and Beomgyu’s in the morning, Kai is normally working in the yard anywhere between midnight to six a.m. There are fairy lights strung up alongside trestles and parts of the fence so Kai’s not working blind, but the yard is so large, the illumination is dim at best.

Kai does occasionally work on the yard during the day, but he only seems to do it when everyone’s out of the house. The only reason why they know is because Kai tends to fall asleep on the couch right after, surprisingly pristine apart from a few flowers from the yard scattered around him. He doesn’t seem to care about the clothing he wears while he works either, which draws frustration from Beomgyu (“Who the fuck gardens in Gucci!”). However, Kai working during the day does rule out Beomgyu’s theory of him being a vampire.

Kai sleeps _a lot,_ at least twelve hours a day, with naps on top of that. Yeonjun jokes that he sees Kai sleeping more than he does of him awake, but there’s some truth to the statement. Soobin’s best guess is a mild form of narcolepsy, but maybe Kai is just one of those people who needs more sleep. He supposes it works out for him because he doesn’t have to attend university—and it’s unlikely he attends online classes, since Kai seems totally at a loss with technology, not even knowing how to turn on the TV or operate the microwave when he first arrived.

(On a somewhat unrelated note, Kai is a very pretty sleeper. Soobin hadn’t even known that was possible, but Kai somehow manages to look even more angelic when unconscious. He’s got them wrapped around his finger in that regard—one of them will always carry him back to his room or drape a blanket over him.)

So yeah, Kai’s a little odd, but he more than makes up for it with his affectionate personality, somehow knowing exactly how to endear himself to them. Yeonjun quickly claims him as his baby brother, and while he has more of a bantering relationship with Beomgyu, it’s clear that the older has a soft spot for him as well, especially when Kai calls him hyung (sparingly, and usually in dire situations to save himself from a tantrum). Soobin, on the other hand, seems to be the prime target of Kai’s natural clinginess. Soobin doesn’t mind since he enjoys it, but the younger acts touch-starved no matter how long he cuddles someone. It gets to the point where it would be unusual if Kai wasn’t hanging off someone whenever they were together (usually Soobin). 

Soobin mostly gets Kai to himself during late nights, though on occasion Yeonjun will join them. Soobin usually stays in the living room to work on his dissertation since his room has too many distractions—namely, his gaming desktop. After Kai finishes his daily work on the yard, he’ll usually shower before joining Soobin on the couch. 

Kai’s interest in whatever Soobin is doing quickly dissipates at the beginning, and he’ll usually entertain himself with the TV or the games on Soobin’s phone. They’d all been surprised to learn that Kai didn’t have a phone, but in the past two months that Kai had been living with them so far, he still hasn’t gotten one, despite his fascination with mobile games.

“Why don’t you get one?” Soobin had asked once, when Kai’s head was pillowed against his shoulder, arm linked with his as he tapped his way through Penguin Isle. 

“Don’t really need it,” Kai had answered with a surprisingly wistful expression. “I can’t contact my family anyway.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“They’re far, far away.” 

Kai really likes nature documentaries. Those are his go-tos, but sometimes he’ll explore other sections on Netflix. He’s taken a liking to Disney and Marvel movies, although the one time he watched a horror movie hadn’t been the greatest experience for anyone. Forget about Soobin, who had been sitting right next to him—his screaming woke up Yeonjun and a very bleary Beomgyu, the latter who wrestles Kai into the couch after finding out the reason why. 

“Idiot! You shouldn’t have watched it if you were just going to be a baby about it,” Beomgyu yells. Soobin and Yeonjun share a look before sighing. 

“I didn’t know,” Kai whines.

“BG, c’mon.” Yeonjun lifts Beomgyu off of Kai. “Kai-ya, no more horror movies, okay? Cuddle with Soobinie if you’re still scared.” 

Kai nods quickly in agreement. “‘M sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Yeonjun yawns as he ruffles Kai’s hair. “Talk tomorrow.” The older wraps an arm around Beomgyu’s waist, dragging the grumbling boy back to his room. 

“Is Beom-hyung actually mad at me,” Kai asks in a small voice made smaller by the way he presses his face against Soobin’s arm. 

Soobin purses his lips as he contemplates whether or not Kai needs his full attention. He doesn’t think for long before setting aside his laptop. 

“No, silly,” Soobin says softly, wrapping his other arm around Kai. “He has a hard time falling asleep, so he hates being woken up. That’s why he always goes to bed early.” 

“Oh,” Kai says. “I’ll make it up to him tomorrow.”

“He’s weak for churros, if you want him to forgive you fast.” 

“Churros?” 

“Oh, right,” Soobin mumbles. “I keep on forgetting you don’t know these things.” Kai pouts at him. _Cute._ “I’ll get some tomorrow, then.” 

Kai tugs on his sleeve. “Can I sleep with you?” 

“Uh,” Soobin says intelligently, mind fumbling over the wording even though he knows what Kai means. “Sure?” 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight after watching that,” Kai says as he absentmindedly rubs Soobin’s stomach. Mostly to make himself feel better, Soobin thinks, because Kai seems to be as comforted by giving touches as much as receiving them. 

“It’s fine,” Soobin says as he grabs his laptop again, leaving a hand threaded in Kai’s hair, sifting the soft strands through his fingers. “I need to get back to work now, okay?” He grabs the remote and flips to an episode of National Geographic. “This okay for you, baby?” 

“Yeah.” Kai presses his face into his shoulder again. “I’m not a child,” he whines. “I didn’t know hu—there were these kinds of movies.”

“Babies will get treated like babies,” Soobin says, faintly amused. “Unless you don’t actually need to sleep with me.” 

“Soobinie!” 

“Shh, keep it down.” 

Kai sticks out his tongue. “You’re the worst.” 

“Watch your mouth, or you might be sleeping alone after all.” 

Kai steals his phone from his pocket and flops dramatically on the length of the couch. 

“You wouldn’t do that to me,” Kai says confidently. 

Too much confidence for someone he’s met only recently, Soobin thinks, but it doesn’t make him any less right. 

“Hyung, can you wake me up too?” Kai asks after he finishes tucking himself against Soobin, 185 centimeters of him suddenly meaningless as he snuggles close.

“Isn’t that early for you?” 

Kai makes a small noise of affirmation, but doesn’t say anything else. 

Even asleep, he clutches onto Soobin’s shirt.

Beomgyu wakes Soobin up with violent knocking. “Ya, Soobin!” 

It’s way too early. Soobin carefully disentangles himself from Kai, who still seems heavily asleep.

“Gyu,” Soobin greets tiredly at the door. 

“Kai-ya wasn’t in his room—oh.” Beomgyu huffs when he sees the lump on Soobin’s bed, pushing past him and sitting on the mattress edge to shake the younger awake. “All you do is worry me,” Beomgyu complains as Kai tiredly rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

“I’m really sorry, hyung.” 

“No, shut up. I’m here to say sorry, you big baby.”

“Not a baby,” Kai mumbles, ducking his head when he makes eye contact with Soobin. 

“Whatever, I don’t have time to argue with you.” Beomgyu pinches Kai’s cheeks. “I won’t be back until late, so I wanted to say sorry for last night. I overreacted.” 

“S’kay.” Kai yawns as he squeezes Beomgyu in a tight hug. “See you tonight.”

“I hate him,” Beomgyu mumbles on his way out. “Little brat gets away with everything.” 

“And you let him,” Soobin says blandly, shutting the door to dodge further aggression. “Also, who are you calling little?” he taunts. 

“Choi Soobin, you’re so dead when I get my hands on you!” 

Soobin chuckles. Beomgyu deserves at least that for waking him up so early.

“Come back,” Kai whines, barely audible underneath the covers. “It’s cold without you.” 

“How do you survive on your own,” Soobin chides softly as he climbs back in the bed, Kai curling into his arms immediately. 

“I don’t,” Kai says, sounding like each word takes monumental effort, “I have you guys. And before…” Kai trails off, and Soobin realizes there’s no answer forthcoming when he feels Kai’s breaths peter out against his neck. 

He’s holding Soobin’s shirt again, almost as if he’s determined not to let go. Soobin closes his eyes and tries not to think about impossibly long lashes and mysteries that aren’t his to solve.

Soobin never wants to be in charge of waking Kai up again. Right now he’s staring at a cocoon. A stubborn, childish, irritating cocoon. 

“Kai,” Soobin tries again, tone a bit impatient. “You said you wanted to wake up early,” he reminds. 

No response.

Soobin sighs heavily, wishing he could just leave. But what if Kai has something important to do in the yard? And what if he gets sad if he misses it? And oh god, what if he cries— _nope nope nope._ With renewed efforts, Soobin starts forcefully unwrapping Kai from his blanket burrito. How can someone still mostly asleep put up so much of a fight? 

Soobin is sweating when he finally manages to wake Kai up. The younger had dragged him back into the bed and pinned him by laying on top of him, and oh god why is he so damn strong when asleep? 

(If he ever tells the other two he was manhandled by _Kai,_ he’ll never live it down.) 

“I’m never waking you up again,” Soobin says with more than just a hint of mild annoyance. 

“‘M sorry, can’t help it,” Kai says, voice blurry from sleep. He buries his face into the crook of Soobin’s shoulder, hands clinging onto Soobin’s waist. “I’m so sleepy.” Kai knows exactly how to pull his heartstrings.

But Soobin’s not giving up, not when he’s so close. 

“Get up, Kai.” One last warning. 

“Mmnh.” 

_Alright then._ “You asked for it.” Soobin starts tickling Kai ruthlessly. 

“You’re my least favorite hyung,” Kai cries from where he ends up on the floor, still catching his breath and wiping away tears from his eyes. 

“Why don’t I believe you,” Soobin asks amusedly as he helps a pouting Kai to his feet, brushing his clothes off even though he just vacuumed. “What are you planning to do today, waking up this early?” 

Kai smiles brightly. “Making things up to Beomie!” He quickly hugs Soobin before rushing out the door. Soobin looks at Kai’s quickly fading back, then to his bed. His sheets are a mess.

 _He’s a tornado,_ Soobin thinks, _devastating and untouchable._

When Soobin gets home from class, Kai is sprawled out on the couch fast asleep. Soobin wonders how he’s able to sleep with the sun shining right in his face. After careful consideration, Soobin scoops him up from the couch. Kai curls towards him but doesn’t show any signs of stirring. He is as always, surprisingly light.

Soobin can never get used to how bare Kai’s room is. The only furnishing he has is a full-length mirror. Apart from his admittedly very expensive and comfortable-looking bed, there’s nothing else, not even curtains. It’s even brighter in Kai’s room than it is in the living room, but Soobin can only assume he regularly sleeps like this, since nothing has changed since the last time he brought him into his room. He sets Kai down gently, tugging his sheets over him, then his blanket.

“Hyunie…” 

For the first time, Kai’s brows are knit together due to the frown on his face. 

Soobin lingers only briefly—

Again, not his mystery. 

Yeonjun is fussing over Kai about the horror movie accident when Beomgyu bursts into the living room. 

“Kai-ya, what are these?” In his hands are various potted plants.

“To help you sleep,” Kai answers, nudging Yeonjun until the older continues stroking his hair. 

“Oh. How?” Beomgyu joins them on the couch after setting the plants down on the coffee table, touching the flowers curiously. “They smell good.” 

“These are gardenias and jasmines,” Kai says, pointing to the white flowers. “And the purple ones are lavenders, I know you like them a lot. The one you didn’t bring out is an aloe vera.” Kai shrugs. “Try it for a few nights and tell me if it works.” 

Beomgyu sniffs the plants. “They smell really calming. Thank you, Kai. You didn’t have to do this, I wasn’t really that mad…” he trails off, looking a bit embarrassed. 

Kai reaches out to grab Beomgyu’s hand, playing with his fingers until they lace together. “I didn’t know you had problems sleeping, Beomie. I would have given them to you sooner if I did.” 

“Why are you so freaking cute,” Beomgyu mutters as he pulls Kai into his lap, hugging him tightly around the waist. 

Yeonjun laughs. “You look—” 

Beomgyu kicks Yeonjun in the leg. “Don’t finish that sentence.” Being the shortest in the house is still a bit of a sore point. “I thought lavenders didn’t bloom until summer.” Kai stops swinging his legs and freezes briefly. 

“Dumb Beomie,” Kai ribs, lips quirking in a grin. “That one’s a different breed.” 

“Brat. What do you do, anyway?” Beomgyu asks curiously. “Do you want to be a florist?” 

“...Something like that.” 

“If this works, I’ll come visit your flower shop all the time,” Beomgyu jokes. 

“It’ll work, but maybe I won’t let you in my shop,” Kai teases.

“You’ll be begging for me to come in.” Beomgyu squeezes the younger until he squeaks. 

Soobin doesn’t notice he’s left a finger on a key until he returns back to a page full of w’s. Kai had that wistful look again, an expression that’s almost out of place for someone who’s always so cheerful. 

They sleep together again on the second night. 

_“I’m still scared,”_ was all it took.

“How are you still scared of these things at your age,” Soobin teases. 

Kai thumps him on the shoulder. “I have a very vivid imagination?” 

“Do you need a night-light?” 

“Maybe. Hyungie?” 

“Hmm?” 

“When I went into Beomie’s room earlier, I saw a toy bear. What are those called?” 

Soobin shifts until he can see Kai’s face somewhat properly in the dark. “Ryan? He’s a lion, not a bear. Have you never had a plushie before?” 

Kai shakes his head. “Are there other ones like it?” 

“Of course.” Soobin frowns. What kind of life has he been living? “They sell them everywhere. We can go out and get you one.” 

Kai’s face falls. “I shouldn’t go out.” 

“Why?” 

Kai’s fingers in his hand are delicate. “I can’t.” 

Kai has a nightmare that night. 

Nightmare? That isn’t quite right. Kai has a night terror. Soobin is woken up by a kick.

Rather than a scream, it starts with a whimper. “Hyunie…” 

Soobin sits up in alarm. Kai’s hair is matted to his forehead with sweat, his face flush with red. 

“Hyunie, don’t go…” 

Soobin grips the blanket in worry. From what he’s learned about parasomnias and sleep terrors in general, it’s usually better to let it run its course. But when Kai starts thrashing around, Soobin worries that he’ll hurt himself, and he holds Kai as gently as he can by his wrists. 

“Kai,” Soobin says softly, “Kai-ya, it’s okay. You’re having a dream. It isn’t real.” 

“No no _no,_ don’t go, don’t leave me,” Kai begs, and Soobin doesn’t know who _Hyunie_ is, but he loathes him in that moment for causing Kai so much distress. His cheeks are wet from tears. 

“Shh baby, nobody’s leaving you.” Kai’s pulse is racing underneath his fingertips. “Nobody’s leaving,” Soobin repeats, “you’re here with me, Kai. I’m here.” 

After Kai kicks out again, Soobin carefully pins down his legs with his own, watching the younger’s face carefully. He doesn’t want to incorporate himself into Kai’s night terror, but he doesn’t want him to wake up by accident by falling off the bed either. For the next twenty minutes, Soobin murmurs a mantra of, _I’m here, nobody’s leaving. I’m here, nobody’s leaving. I’m right here, you’re safe with me._

At five in the morning, Kai finally falls back to what seems like normal sleep, features smoothing out and limbs slackening. 

Soobin wipes the sweat from his forehead and neck, the tears from his face.

That had been heart-wrenching. 

Gathering Kai up in his arms was to make himself feel better, Soobin can admit that, and when Kai reflexively snuggles closer, he feels a _lot_ better. He keeps an arm tight around Kai’s shoulder even as he falls asleep. 

Kai is still asleep by the time Soobin gets back from class. Even though it’s within Soobin’s expectations, he had been worried nonetheless when he had to leave him in the morning, the memories of last night distracting him all throughout the lecture.

He works at his desk until he hears Kai’s squeaky yawn.

“Soobin-hyung?” 

Soobin turns around on his chair. “Kai-ya,” he greets. The boy looks adorably sleep-rumpled, fingers barely poking out of his oversized sleeves as he rubs his eyes. “Did you sleep well?” Soobin only sees Kai’s tell because he’s looking for it, the slight widening of his eyes before he smiles cheerfully.

“Eung.” 

“No nightmares?” Soobin coaxes, and Kai looks up at him quizzically, a touch guarded. “It’s normal to have nightmares,” he continues, “especially after horror movies.” 

Kai’s gaze flicks down, and after a few moments of silence, he murmurs, “No more than usual.” 

Soobin chooses not to push, just scoots his chair closer and ruffles Kai’s hair, knuckle brushing briefly over his cheek. 

“Just remember I’m—we’re here for you if you need us, okay?” 

Kai blinks at him, not quite confused, but vulnerability tinges his smile. “Thank you, hyung.” He leans into Soobin’s hand, and Soobin can feel his heart start to race. He hadn’t noticed when he had cupped Kai’s cheek, only that it felt instinctual and right. 

“I don’t know how or why, but the flowers are working really well,” Beomgyu says, head cradled in Kai’s lap as he reaches up to play with the younger’s hair. “Hyung is going to buy you a gift. What do you want?” 

“Don’t need anything,” Kai says, shaking his head. “I’m just happy you’re sleeping better, Beomie.” 

“Gifts aren’t about what you need,” Yeonjun interjects, “they’re about what you want.” 

“Beomgyu knows exactly what to get him,” Soobin says without sparing a glance from his laptop.

Beomgyu twists in Kai’s lap. “I do?”

“He does?” Kai and Yeonjun echo. 

“Mhm. Wait for me, I’ll go shopping with you after I finish annotating this.” 

“Kai-ya, you wanna come with?” Beomgyu asks. 

Predictably, Kai shakes his head. “No thank you.” 

He’s refused enough times for them not to question him anymore. A guarded Kai is almost painful to deal with when they’re so used to him being bright and cheerful, so they let it go.

“So he’s been sleeping with you this entire week?” Beomgyu asks, worry lining his face. “How many night terrors has he had? Isn’t that your specialty?” 

“Same field, but hardly a specialty,” Soobin responds wryly as they peruse the store. “Only one terror. The rest are regular nightmares. He can’t keep sleeping with me forever.” 

Beomgyu raises a brow and smirks. “Why? Doesn’t seem like you mind it.” 

Soobin rolls his eyes. “Would any of us mind?” 

Beomgyu hums as he returns a stuffed bear to its shelf. “True.” He pauses before reaching out for another plushie, a dolphin this time. “Is he going to be okay sleeping by himself?” 

“He’s nineteen, not nine,” Soobin says amusedly as he examines the dolphin. “That’s cute, but I think he needs something bigger to hold onto.” He points to the highest shelf. “How about that rabbit?” 

Beomgyu nods in satisfaction. “I’m just going to get him both, since you think he’ll like them. It’s weird that he’s never had one,” Beomgyu muses, “doesn’t this go beyond being sheltered?” 

Soobin shrugs. “His family’s kind of weird, maybe he was raised differently,” he reasons. Kai definitely is not full Korean, but without even a surname to go off of, their guesses are baseless. 

“I’ll buy everything in the whole store if he wants,” Beomgyu says, “I’ve seriously never had better sleep before. Those flowers are fucking magic, I swear.” 

“I’m glad they worked out well for you, Gyu.” 

“A little too well,” Beomgyu says skeptically, “I hope it continues.” He claps his hands in amusement when he sees the stuffed rabbit in Soobin’s arms. “Wow, you two look alike.”

“Shut up.”

Kai squeals when Beomgyu unwraps the rabbit plush, instantly folding his arms around it. 

“How did you know?” he asks with his chin nestled atop the rabbit’s head, mouth curving in an adorable grin. “I love it so much.” 

Beomgyu shrugs. “Ask Soobin.” He tucks the dolphin doll in between the rabbit and Kai. “Tell me what you name them tomorrow, okay? I have to wake up early for a project so I’m sleeping soon.” 

Kai nods, still a starry-eyed at the plushies in his arms. “Thank you, hyung.” 

Beomgyu pets him underneath his chin. “Of course, Kai-ya.” 

“You should go back to sleeping in your own room now,” Soobin says, softly carding his fingers through Kai’s hair—through habit, he tells himself. “Sleeping with a stuffed animal should help.” 

Kai peers up at him through his lashes with a look that Soobin has never been able to refuse. 

“One more night? Then I’ll go back, I promise.” 

Soobin sighs in defeat. 

“Wait, why did you bring it?” 

Kai pouts. “I wanted to get used to sleeping with Tobin.” 

“Tobin?” Soobin asks. “You didn’t name it after me, did you?” 

“I did,” Kai corrects, “he reminds me of you.” 

Soobin groans. “Gyu didn’t put you up to that, did he?” 

“No, why would he?” 

Soobin doesn’t reply and pokes a finger against Kai’s forehead. “This is uncomfortable, roll over.” 

“You’re going to hurt his feelings,” Kai complains, but he obediently turns over so Tobin’s on his side instead of between them. 

“You’re too attached already,” Soobin says, but as soon as the words leave his mouth he’s not sure who they apply to, because his automatic response when Kai snuggles closer to him is to drape an arm over his waist until they’re pressed together, his chest to Kai’s back, knees touching his thighs, face close enough that all he can smell is Kai’s unique scent of lavender and rain. Kai hums before placing his hand over Soobin’s, fingers not quite interlacing but still very present. 

“Thank you, Soobin-hyung,” he says, his quiet voice made even softer because he’s turned away. “I’m sorry for being a burden to you.” 

Soobin is very glad that Kai is leaving after this final night, because he’s not sure he likes how everything Kai says, everything he does leaves a Kai-shaped impression in his heart, how the younger finds a way to worm through his defenses without even a proper warning, just one day crossing over into _precious person_ territory without any sort of transition at all. 

And perhaps the scariest feeling is that Kai makes him think too much and not enough at the same time, because he definitely doesn’t think at all when he kisses the top of Kai’s head, nor does he miss the shaky breath from Kai after. 

“You’re not a burden, Kai. Don’t ever think that.” 

Kai curls tighter against Tobin, his grip on Soobin’s hand not loosening until he falls asleep. 

Soobin lies awake for another thirty minutes, another hour? He can’t tell, measuring the seconds passing by with the slow and steady rise of Kai’s chest, seemingly unbothered by nightmares for tonight at least. 

Soobin is used to having reasons for feelings. 

_Can a reason be a person?_

Soobin checks in on Kai occasionally after the younger goes back to sleep in his own room. Every time he checks, he seems to be sleeping peacefully while holding on to the giant rabbit plush, so Soobin reluctantly lets go of his concern. He has new company on nights with Kai now, Tobin or Endolphin or sometimes even both always settled next to Kai on the couch.

(Despite their presence, Kai still seems to cling to him at every opportunity.) 

Kai is freshly showered, hair damp and curling every which way. Soobin looks curiously at the white flowers surrounding Kai on the couch—did they stick on his clothes, perhaps? But Kai has already changed into a suspiciously familiar white Givenchy shirt that Beomgyu had definitely bemoaned the loss of. 

“I thought that shirt was ruined,” Soobin says as he plucks one of the flowers off the couch. The petals are springy under his touch. 

“Um...I had another one,” Kai answers awkwardly. 

Soobin doesn’t press—Kai seemed to understand on some level that not everyone was as well-off as he was and often appeared uncomfortable when his apparent wealth was brought up. 

“What flowers are these?” Soobin asks.

“Thorn-apples, but they’re not supposed to be here,” Kai says, and when Soobin looks at him, his brows are furrowed together and his lower lip is caught between his teeth. He frowns as he gathers the flowers, even the one that Soobin’s holding. 

“I’m sleeping early,” he announces, standing up with the flowers in his arms. Soobin looks at him oddly—this is abnormal, even for Kai. He’s only been awake for a few hours. 

“Good night?” 

Soobin blinks at Kai’s rapid departure. It’s a few hours later when it’s his own bedtime that he realizes Kai had left Endolphin on the couch. Kai’s room smells decidedly more floral than normal when Soobin sets the dolphin plush on his bed. Soobin wonders if it’s because of the thorn-apple flowers, but it’s too dark to see anything. 

He closes the door quietly. Kai doesn’t stir at all.

Kai gets sick.

They don’t even notice really, at first. Sometimes their schedules clash in a way where they don’t see each other for days on end. Still, Soobin is the first one to be worried when three days pass without him seeing Kai, something that’s never happened before. 

On the morning of the fourth day, Soobin decides to check Kai’s room. He knocks, but there’s no answer. He tries the doorknob—unlocked, as always. 

When he opens the door, the last thing he expects to see is the room flooded with flowers. Kai’s bed is covered with them, and he’s barely visible underneath the covers. 

"Kai-ya," he says softly, mind still whirling at the amount of flowers in the room, almost sickeningly sweet. "Kai, are you okay?"

There's a sound of stirring from the bed.

"I don't think so," Kai groans.

"Do you have the flu?" Soobin asks cautiously. "And why are there so many flowers in your room?"

"Flowers?" It seems to take a lot of effort for Kai to sit up in his bed, but when he opens his eyes to see his room, he doesn't look surprised. "Oh, these."

"Is there something you need to tell us?" Soobin asks. There's no way Kai got all these from the garden. He hadn't even seen these types of flowers growing back there. He squints and thinks he recognizes some magnolias, but he's not sure about the others. 

"Um." Kai freezes, and Soobin can see that he's shutting down, so Soobin quickly excuses himself to grab some orange juice for Kai. What the hell is going on?

When he gets back, all the flowers are gone.

"What the fuck," Soobin says, eyes large, "what the actual fuck, Kai."

"Um..." Then Kai sneezes, and more flowers appear on his bed, different from the ones from before. 

"Kai," Soobin says slowly, hands gripping the glass, "I'm about to freak out in ten seconds so if you could tell me what's going on before that, that would be great."

"Can I have the orange juice first," Kai says weakly, and Soobin wants to kick himself. Even with whatever was going on, Kai is still sick. He hands the glass over before carding his fingers gently through the younger’s hair.

Kai drains the glass in record time and looks incrementally better. At least there's some color in his cheeks now. 

"I'm a..." Kai eventually gesticulates with his hands after Soobin closes the door, "ah, what do you humans call us..."

Soobin's eyes grow even wider. Humans? As in, Kai wasn't—

"Nymphs? No...fairies?" Kai taps his chin. "Forest fairy? Yeah, I'm a forest fairy."

Soobin swallows. “Stay right there, I need to get something. Do you want soup or something?” 

“Yes, I’m so hungry I can barely think,” Kai says, and Soobin registers with a hint of hysteria that he most likely hasn’t eaten in three days. Kai’s fingers wrap around his hand, and he’s biting his lip. He looks worried, even though he had been completely nonchalant in telling Soobin that he _isn’t even human._ “You’re not going to tell anyone else, right? It’s supposed to be a secret.” He grimaces. “I didn’t realize I got so weak, though I should have known with the thorn-apples…” 

“Are you going to do something to me if I tell someone,” Soobin blurts out, “like, wipe my memory or something?” 

Kai seems to wilt. “Why, are you planning to?” He’s staring at Soobin with a watery sort of look, and Soobin’s heart maybe breaks a few times. 

“No,” Soobin says, sitting down on Kai’s ridiculously comfortable mattress, brushing his thumb across Kai’s eyebags—barely there, but still a new development. “No, baby, I’m not going to tell anyone if you don’t want me to.” 

Kai sniffs. “Not a baby,” he reminds, crossing his arms. “I’m done growing back in my world, but I age normally out here. I think I grew two centimeters already,” he says, sounding pleased with himself. 

“Okay,” Soobin says, feeling a bit faint, and he thinks it’s the heavy scent of flowers in the room that’s messing with his priorities, because instead of something intelligent that would actually help him understand the situation, his mind runs through a number of possibilities like _angel, sweetheart, darling_ before settling on, “how about petal?” Because that fits. 

He doesn’t expect Kai to blush and stutter, “T-That’s fine,” but he can’t help but ask before he leaves Kai’s room, “Wait, so are you 19 in human years or…” 

Kai nods, and Soobin sighs in relief.

Now about that drink… 

Soobin returns with a bed tray, a bottle of soju, more orange juice, and chicken noodle soup made from a recipe he’s memorized from his mom. When Kai looks at the bottle of alcohol curiously, Soobin swats his hand away. 

“That’s for me. It’s a grown-up drink,” Soobin jokes, and Kai scowls at him. It’s cute, because he doesn’t seem annoyed at all. He looks like a kitten trying to be fierce. A baby puma, perhaps?

“I _am_ a grown-up.” 

Soobin waves his hand airily. “Technicalities.” He nudges a spoon into Kai’s hand before uncapping the soju and taking a swig straight from the bottle. “Eat first, then we can…” Soobin grimaces. “Then we can talk.” 

Kai manages to get through three mouthfuls before setting down his spoon. “I can’t eat if you’re staring at me,” he complains. 

Soobin’s staring a little, yeah, because it’s not every day one’s roommate confesses that they’re a _forest fairy._ He’s played enough fantasy video games to think of several possibly rude questions already, like what type of magic does he use? Does he have wings? Does he hate iron, like in the myths? That one makes Soobin think—he’s fairly certain their skillet is made out of iron, and he’s never seen Kai around it before. 

There’s no way he’s drunk yet, he’s not even tipsy even at the rate he’s been swallowing down the alcohol. His next suggestion baffles even himself. He picks up the spoon from the bowl. “How about I feed you while you talk to me.” He’s already nudging a spoonful of soup against Kai’s lips. Kai looks only briefly surprised before agreeably swallowing down the soup. 

“Okay,” Kai says, “what do you want to know first?” 

“Let’s start with the flowers,” Soobin says, prepping the next spoonful. “Why are there so many?” He gasps as realization dawns on him. “And whenever you sleep on the couch with flowers on you, that’s related too, isn’t it?” 

Kai claps, looking more gleeful than he should. “You’re so smart, Soobinie-hyung.” Soobin rolls his eyes and feeds Kai another mouthful of soup. “When I can’t control my magic,” he says after he swallows, “those flowers appear. They absorb mana.” 

“Mana exists?” Soobin takes another swig for that one, washing it down with orange juice. 

Kai tilts his head. “You know what mana is?” 

“It’s like, magical energy right?” Kai nods. “I guess not all of the lore is inaccurate, then. When can you not control your magic?” He lifts another spoonful of soup to Kai’s lips and the younger tips it into his mouth, the motions almost mechanical now that they’ve gotten past the initial embarrassment. 

“When I’m really weak or sick.” He scrunches his nose. “I think I might also have a little bit of a cold, but I’m mostly weak because I spent too much magic on The Grove. I’ll be fine after another day or two of rest.” 

“Are the flowers random?” 

Kai shakes his head. “No, but I’m not telling you why.” 

“Why not? That just makes me want to know more,” Soobin says, raising a brow. 

Kai crosses his arms. “Not telling.” 

“Whatever you say, petal.” Kai stiffens, then starts to blush. Soobin grins. He’ll figure out why that word has that effect on him later. “Cute,” he coos. “What’s the grove?” 

_“The Grove,”_ Kai corrects, “at least until it’s finished and I can name it. When I finish growing everything, it’s going to serve as a portal to my world.” 

Soobin frowns. “Are you stranded here or something?” 

“Something like that. My old forest got burned down,” he says wistfully, “and so did its portal. We got out safely and migrated to another forest. But my parents thought this would be a good opportunity for my coming-of-age test. Once I complete The Grove, I’ll be considered an adult.” 

“Oh,” Soobin breathes, _“oh.”_ No wonder he was testy about being called a baby. “You really aren’t a grown-up.” 

Kai gives him that awfully cute glare again. Soobin fights the urge to pet his cheeks and fails, and Kai’s pout deepens. “I _am_ one by your standards.”

Soobin chuckles. “So, do you have wings?” 

Soobin thinks that maybe he should not have drank so much. Kai’s bed looks extremely tempting. 

Kai points to the nearly empty soju bottle on the floor with the bed table. “I want some of that.” 

“No you don’t,” Soobin reassures him. “It doesn’t taste that good.” 

“Then why did you drink so much of it?” Kai pouts. “And you’re more...giggly.” 

Soobin giggles again, proving his point. “Didn’t they teach you about alcohol in your human acclimation classes?” 

“They didn’t cover much on it because I wasn’t of age,” Kai mumbles. “Just that I shouldn’t drink anything or be around humans who drink alcohol.” 

Soobin snaps his fingers. “Exactly. Which reminds me, I should get going.” He stands up and is immediately reminded that was not a Good Idea. 

“Hyung, I don’t want you to leave yet,” Kai says, tugging him gently on the wrist. Soobin sits back down with no resistance at all, slumping over the younger’s shoulders.

“Aren’t you just going back to sleep?” Soobin asks, lips too close to Kai’s neck, so close that he briefly thinks about just going for it. 

“So sleep with me, Soobinie.” 

Soobin scowls, and maybe his lips touch the bare skin of Kai’s shoulder because the fairy inhales sharply. Has Kai’s shirt always been that loose? Whatever, he doesn’t have the working brain cells to panic. 

“Are you going to cuddle me or Tobin?” he asks petulantly. 

“Um...you?” 

Yeah, Kai’s bed seems _really_ comfortable. And Tobin out of the equation? An added bonus. Soobin pulls off his sweater and tosses it somewhere on the floor and hopefully not on the bed table. With some effort, he rolls over and buries himself underneath the covers. Did he lock the door? Oh well, not important. 

“Hey, Kai?” Soobin tucks an errant lock of hair behind Kai’s ear before cupping his cheek, letting his thumb caress his face. _He’s so soft._ Is that Kai’s hand on his chest? Yes, yes it is. 

“Hmm?” 

“Are all forest fairies pretty like you? Or are you just pretty because you’re you?” 

Soobin can actually _feel_ Kai’s cheeks turning red. It’s kind of awesome, but mostly cute. Pale pink and white flowers decorate Kai’s hair. On a closer inspection, they seem to be two different types of flowers. The pink ones are peonies, he thinks, recognizing them because those are his sister’s favorite flowers. They used to have them in the house often. The white ones seem vaguely familiar, but he doesn’t remember from where. 

Then Soobin remembers to worry. What did Kai say earlier? He only sprouted them when he was weak or sick? 

“Hey, are you okay?” Soobin asks, concerned. “You have flowers in your hair. They’re really pretty, not as pretty as you though,” he rambles on, and he thinks he hears Kai squeak before leaning further into his hand, lips brushing against his palm. “Oh my god.” Kai’s not answering, do they have to go to the hospital? Soobin moves his hand to check Kai’s forehead, then checks his own for reference. “You don’t feel like you have a fever.” 

“I’m okay,” Kai mumbles, not meeting his eyes, “hyung is just not being fair.” 

Soobin frowns. “What do you mean?” 

“The next time you have alcohol, I’m having some too.” 

“No you’re not,” Soobin says, “we don’t know how alcohol affects your magic.” Aha! He actually managed to come up with a reasonable excuse. 

“You’ll just have to take care of me then,” Kai murmurs, twining their fingers together and laying their hands in the space between them. 

Why does that actually sound like a good idea? “Always,” Soobin says fondly, “I’ll always take care of you, petal.” He doesn’t have Kai figured out, not at all, maybe he’s barely even scratched the surface. But he’s _his_ mystery now. Kai squeaks and tries to hide behind their hands, failing adorably.

As Soobin drifts, he swears he doesn’t imagine Kai pressing a kiss on top of their intertwined hands, nor the massive blanket of pink and white flowers that weigh down on them pleasantly.

He falls asleep, wishing they were a bit closer. 

Soobin wakes up in cold sweat and remembers _everything._ He half wishes he doesn’t. The other half is moon-eyed over Kai blushing and Kai asking to sleep together and Kai maybe kissing their hands right before he fell asleep.

And oh yeah, Kai being a forest fairy on top of all that. Soobin doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, feeling like he’s landed right into a drama, like the ones that run on weekend afternoons that his mom always watches. 

Kai is still holding onto his hand, so crying it is, probably. Soobin fumbles for his phone, barely managing to see the screen through the glare of the sun—he had slept through _that?_ Alcohol really did do wonders. It’s almost evening, he’d slept two hours longer than he usually did; that’s probably why he doesn’t feel like complete shit. 

_Alcohol also made you call Kai pretty,_ he reminds himself. He drags a hand over his face. Did he also whine about Tobin like the rabbit plush was some sort of competition? He doesn’t care what he said, he’s never drinking again, especially not around Kai. 

Soobin sits up, carefully untangling their hands. Kai’s brows twitch, but he doesn’t show any signs of waking up. A quick forehead touch lets him know that Kai’s not running a fever. There are still flowers strewn around his bed, but considerably less than this morning, so Soobin takes that as a sign that Kai is recovering. He doesn’t see any more peonies or the white flowers that used to decorate Kai’s hair—in fact, his hair is clear from any flowers at all—but he sees magnolias again and unfamiliar yellow flowers instead. He reminds himself to download an app to help him figure out the different plants later, for now, he’s going to leave and process exactly how badly he messed things up. 

Except right when he’s about to leave, Kai’s fingers find his again. 

“Don’t leave,” the fairy mumbles, his eyes still closed and seemingly asleep. Soobin sees the almost violent bloom of vivid blue and purple flowers in the room, though they appear to replace the already existing ones. 

Soobin feels like he can’t be too careful with Kai, he feels like he’s fumbling pieces together in order to understand him. He’s an enigma even now, and Soobin feels like he’s being invasive by guessing why Kai is always clinging to him, to others, why even in sleep he’s always holding onto someone, something, somehow. Kai has said those words before in his sleep, _don’t leave,_ in varying tones of distress, and all Soobin can think about now is the fairy who got left behind while his home burned, the boy who’s separated from his loved ones by a world, someone who’s desperate to return and because of that he’s dangerous, because his stay is transient and everything is _temporary_ and he’s already made Soobin care too much as it is. 

Soobin will most likely end up just a fleeting memory. 

Even so, his heart squeezes in protest as he pulls his hand away. Kai whimpers, and Soobin wants to laugh in frustration, because _who’s not being fair, it’s always been Kai who has been unfair._

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Kai-ya.” And against his better judgement, because with Kai it doesn’t matter if he tried to be rational it all falls apart in the end anyway, he bends down and kisses his forehead, brushing his knuckle against Kai’s cheek in a futile attempt to linger. 

He can’t, but he’s so gone. He’s done for. 

Soobin makes sure he sees Kai when he wakes up before retreating. The thought of Kai thinking Soobin wouldn’t stay, wouldn’t keep his promise unsettles him. Soobin wants to be selfish even though it’d hurt, he wants to be with Kai, wants Kai to be the one not leaving just as badly as he wants to be that someone not leaving for Kai, because he still seems so hurt by someone who did.

Soobin sticks Yeonjun on taking-care-of-Kai duty once he sees Kai and promptly shuts his laptop lid. 

“I’ll be working in my room, don’t bother me,” he says on his way out the living room, and then he stays to work in his room for the rest of that day and the next, studiously avoiding Kai and ignoring the hurt (Kai) and confused (Beomgyu and Yeonjun) looks aimed at him. 

“Did you guys fight or something?” Beomgyu asks with a frown. “You’re both holing up in your rooms, and Kai isn’t as cheerful as he usually is.” 

“No,” Soobin says, “why would we fight?” 

Beomgyu scrutinizes him before sighing. “Why do I feel like you’re doing something stupid?” 

“Maybe you're projecting,” Soobin suggests, and he supposes he sort of deserves the resulting smack against his shoulder. 

“Whatever it is, fix it.” Beomgyu scowls. “You’re both acting gloomy as hell. Go cuddle or something.” 

“If it was that easy to fix, I would have already,” Soobin murmurs. He’s still figuring out the distancing thing, on how to separate his feelings while being a friend—and nothing more.

He concludes he’s fairly shit at staying away because the next day when he sees Kai on the couch, asleep with familiar blue and violet flowers around him as well as pink ones with delicate-looking petals, he hesitates. He must have spent a few minutes staring and trying to make up his mind before he takes out his phone and snaps a photo with the app he downloaded a few days ago. 

_Flora Analyzer_

_Two flora found: bellflower, eglantine rose_

**Bellflower:** _Campanula is one of several genera of flowering plants in the family Campanulaceae with the common name bellflower…_

Soobin scrolls until he finds something that catches his attention. 

_In flower language, the bellflower symbolizes disappointment and loss._

**Eglantine Rose:** _Rosa rubiginos is a species of rose native to Europe and western Asia…_

_In the language of flowers, the eglantine rose means ‘a wound to heal.’_

He thinks about the magnolias. 

_Magnolias symbolize the love of nature._

The peonies.

_Peonies symbolize shame and bashfulness in floriography._

And soon enough he’s not thinking at all as he lifts Kai gently from the couch, expecting the way Kai instinctively curls against him but being shaken all the same. 

The flowers mean something, then. He knows it’s related to what Kai had refused to tell him earlier, but he figures the connection is something simple like his moods or emotions. 

(It also means Kai is weak. Why is he straining himself by working during the day? Now that he knows why the flowers appear, he can’t help but worry.) 

He carefully sets Kai down on his bed, tucking Tobin into his arms before drawing the sheets and blanket over him. He sits on the edge of the mattress, mulling over unmade decisions, reaching out his arm but pulling back until he succeeds on the third try with a burst of bravery. He settles his hand on top of Kai’s and immediately feels that it’s not enough, so he slowly folds their fingers together until they’re completely intertwined. He rests his forehead against their hands, exhaling shakily. 

He wants but he’s afraid, he’s anxious but he’s impulsive, he pictures staying with Kai until he leaves but he flinches from the thought of heartache. 

How did that quote go again? _‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?_ He smiles bitterly. _Fuck._

Kai almost knocks over the TV when he sees Soobin in the living room. 

“Soobin-hyung?” he says tentatively. 

Soobin glances up from his laptop. “Hello, Kai.” He checks the time—he should be okay for a break. He shuts the lid and stands up to stretch. “Can I come with you tonight?” 

“Sure.” Kai sounds surprised. 

Soobin pulls on a pair of athletic shoes he doesn’t care too much for and follows Kai to the yard. The fairy lights are just barely bright enough for Soobin to see. 

“Why did you work earlier?” he finally asks. “You always get tired during the day.” 

Kai glances at him, the look in his eyes indecipherable. “Were you worried, hyungie?” 

He crouches down in front of a tree sapling. “Of course,” he says softly, hoping, mostly in vain, that Kai doesn’t hear. “Did we always have trees?” 

“No,” Kai says, “but it can’t be a proper grove without any trees.” He kneels in front of the sapling next to Soobin and places a hand on its still-fragile limbs. “My parents gave her to me. Birches symbolize new beginnings, like spring.” A gentle warmth suffuses the air when Kai’s hand glows a subtle green, and Soobin watches in awe as the branches sprout more leaves. “I was going to grow one at a time, but it’s taking more energy than I thought.” 

“You’re amazing, petal,” Soobin murmurs, looking over at Kai with a fondness that almost matches the ache in his chest, now that he can actually see the physical proof of Kai’s intentions. “I wish I could forget that you’re leaving,” Soobin says wistfully, “it felt like you were going to stay with us for a while.”

“...I can make you forget.” Kai looks uncharacteristically serious as he drops his focus on the sapling to turn towards him. “Maybe it’ll be easier if you don’t know.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Soobin says, meaning to pull Kai in for a hug, though he ends up unbalancing himself and toppling over the younger instead. 

Kai looks so breathtakingly ethereal—quite literally too perfect for this world, dark curls fanned out on the grass and spilling over Soobin’s hands where he has them braced on either side of Kai’s head.

“I don’t want to forget,” Soobin says, reaching out to cup Kai’s cheek like he’s done so many times before it’s practically ingrained in his muscle memory, “though I wish things were easier. I’m scared,” he confesses, and being honest is easier than he thought it would be, especially when Kai is staring at him with his beautiful doe eyes, deep brown and expressive and earnest. “You’re leaving, but for some reason I still want to be with you, and I’m scared.” 

“I know,” Kai says simply, raising a hand to clasp around Soobin’s, “I knew you would come back to me.” Kai turns his face in a familiar gesture, leaning into his hand, except this time he doesn’t stop with a casual brush of his lips. Softly, deliberately, he presses a kiss to Soobin’s palm. 

The grass around them explodes with small, purple flowers.

“I’m scared too, all the time. But,” he squeezes Soobin’s hand, “you were always there for me...and I…” he trails off, a heavy blush staining his cheeks. “I’m not leaving until next year at the earliest,” he mumbles, “so if you’ll have me...I want...I know I might not be enough…”

“Why,” Soobin starts, interrupting himself with a kiss to Kai’s hand, his wrist, his knuckles before lacing them together and pinning their hands down next to them, “would you ever think you’re anything less than perfect for me? Don’t say that anymore,” he says quietly, “don’t say you’re a burden, or that you’re not enough. You’re more, so much more than I deserve.” 

He has imagined kissing Kai before, of course, even when he tries his best not to, but nothing in his imagination measures up to _this,_ the way he can hear Kai’s breaths stutter right before their lips touch, the soft, tentative slide of their mouths with a hint of desperation. Kai wraps an arm around his neck in an effort to bring him closer, and Soobin ignores the strain on his arm to keep tracing the curve of Kai’s lips with his own as the younger melts pliantly against him. Soobin is careful, so careful as he tempers Kai’s too-eager mouth that’s all too capable of making him want to take _too much._

Unfortunately, Soobin is only human, so his arm eventually cannot be ignored. He reluctantly pulls away and almost immediately regrets it, because Kai’s cheeks are tinted red and he looks dazed, irresistible, and too tempting. Soobin exhales shakily and brushes a thumb over Kai’s hand before lying down on his side. Kai is looking at him, hopeful and expectant.

He can never say no, not to him.

So Soobin cradles Kai’s face with a hand that is at times too-large but now is perfect for holding Kai as he kisses his nose, his eyebrows, his eyelids, the freckles that dot his cheeks like stars, tracing them softly with his thumb to form constellations.

Kai, to him, is precious, so precious, and it frustrates him that he can’t find the words to explain when or why or how it got that way. Just that he’s too important, too dear to him already. 

Finally, he brushes their lips together again, and Kai sighs into his mouth and shifts closer, closer until Soobin can feel flowers weigh down on him as well, though he doesn’t pay attention to them, _can’t_ pay attention to them when his world has narrowed to the feeling of Kai against him, fragile in his hands, yet so very present. The weight of Kai’s tongue in his mouth, the younger’s hand pressed against the nape of his neck now, the insistent way he squeezes impossibly closer even though there’s no possible space left to be had between them, it all drives Soobin to give in and deepen the kiss. He grins against Kai’s mouth after, because who knew he was going to be so demanding? 

“Petal,” he murmurs with one last gentle nibble on Kai’s bottom lip as he sits up, “shouldn’t you be working?” 

“I should,” Kai says, looking rosy and kiss-wrecked, and Soobin wishes not for the first time that the fairy lights were brighter. He maybe gets the fright of his life when Kai crawls into his lap. “But I don’t want to,” he continues with a pout, “I want you to kiss me more. I like it.” 

Soobin gives Kai an odd look. “That wasn’t your first kiss, right?” 

“It was,” Kai answers, and Soobin pushes his palms against his eyes, because _fuck._ “We don’t really kiss that often,” the fairy explains as he unpries Soobin’s hands with an amused smile, “I think the equivalent for us would be wing-baths. So,” he continues, “more, please?” 

Soobin groans as Kai looks at him expectantly, eyes lidded and mischievous. 

“Don’t you want to go inside?” he says, a last-ditch effort to persuade Kai from pursuing ‘more’ in the middle of his grove. Are plants sentient? He needs to ask Kai that later, because he feels a bit like The Grove is Judging him. _I’m so weak,_ he laments as Kai brushes the tips of their noses together, and he holds Kai securely by his waist as the younger loops his arms around his neck. 

“Later,” Kai breathes against him, and did Soobin mention he was gone for him?

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Soobin mutters as he mouths kisses along Kai’s jaw, working his way slowly to his lips. He fully intends to use his upper hand to drag things out, to tease Kai until he’ll think twice about asking for _more._

Soobin runs his tongue against the lines of Kai’s lips, and when Kai parts for him, he licks slowly into his mouth with a heat that he held back before. He winds a hand into Kai’s hair and pulls gently, making Kai gasp lightly. Of course he would like that—Soobin has spent plenty of time threading his fingers through the luscious strands, learning what he likes best. 

He kisses Kai harder, tongue firm in his mouth now as if to make a statement, unrelenting enough that Kai has to catch his breath between kisses. He tries to follow what Soobin is doing, a bit clumsy at first, but he’s a fast learner. Soobin nips Kai’s lower lip, teasing it with his teeth before licking it over with his tongue.

Kai’s fingers curl against his neck as Soobin continues teasing him, sometimes taking breaks to trail open-mouthed kisses on his neck, but never for too long or too hard. He lets Kai squirm in his lap and relishes in his punched-out breaths, his blown out pupils, his mouth insistent against Soobin’s own as he connects their lips again, urgent and with a low whimper. 

He’s testing Soobin’s restraint, but this is where he puts his foot down. He pulls back, letting his other hand fall down to Kai’s waist as well as he presses their foreheads together.

“Don’t rush,” he rasps, voice hoarse. 

“That was different...” Kai says as his hands roam over Soobin’s shoulders and down his arms before finding purchase on his shirt. “In a good way,” he adds shyly.

“That was a kiss to tell you that I want you,” Soobin says, smiling at the small eruption of flowers in the grass near them, “the first kiss was to tell you that I need you.” He playfully kisses Kai’s cheek again as the younger blushes.

“You shouldn’t be allowed to say things like that,” Kai mumbles.

“You shouldn’t be allowed to kiss like that,” Soobin says half-seriously, “it’s not good for my health. Pecks only from now on.” 

Kai thumps him on the chest with a small fist, peonies dotting his hair. “Shut up, hyungie. You were doing most of it anyway.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute,” Soobin mumbles as he rests his face against Kai’s shoulder, hugging him tightly. “What are these purple flowers?”

“Nothing,” Kai squeaks, and with a wave of his hand they disappear. 

“You know that just makes me more curious.” Soobin chuckles as he reaches for one of the red flowers left behind. He knows these—they’re poppies. “What do these mean?” he asks as he tucks one behind Kai’s ear since the peonies have disappointingly disappeared from his hair. 

“That I want to kiss you again,” Kai says bluntly, pushing him down against the grass, only to screech immediately after. “Soobin-hyung, you’re crushing the chrysanthemums!”

At first, Kai doesn’t understand that kissing is largely meant to be done in private, and Soobin almost dies of embarrassment the first time they get walked in on (though he supposes it’s partially his fault for letting Kai have his way with him in the living room in the first place). 

“You two have definitely made up.” Yeonjun smirks. 

Beomgyu splutters. “You—this isn’t what I meant—” His eyes are round as he takes in the scene in front of him, Kai’s mussed hair matching Soobin’s rumpled dress shirt (the one he’s wearing to his presentation in oh, about thirty minutes). 

Kai climbs off him without any sense of shame at all, and Yeonjun laughs at Soobin’s expense as Kai greets the both of them with hugs. 

“Get away from me,” Beomgyu says as he tucks his chin against Kai’s shoulder and pats his back, “you’re a kept man now.”

“Wouldn’t Soobinie technically be the kept one?” Yeonjun laughs, and Soobin glares at him from the couch. “Can’t say I didn’t see that coming, though.”

“They’re so gross whenever they’re together, it was a matter of when, not if,” Beomgyu adds as he tickled Kai underneath his chin. “You’re not allowed to steal him to yourself, do you hear me Choi Soobin? Dinner time stays in the dining room with the four of us.”

“And movie nights together in the living room,” Yeonjun says with a smirk, “no Netflix and Chill allowed in this house.”

Soobin rolls his eyes skyward and prays for patience.

The second time they get caught is all Kai’s fault. He’s _supposed_ to use his magic to sense when someone was about to enter the living room through sensory links on strategically placed flowers (tried and tested, even though Soobin had been boggled at first thinking of too-many practical functions for Kai’s magic).

The only thing Soobin should be guilty of is trusting Kai, he thinks as he shifts uncomfortably on his knees, both arms lifted above his head for Beomgyu’s “punishment.”

“Make sure you’re kneeling properly,” Beomgyu snaps as he comes out of his room with a mask and disinfectant spray. 

“Gyu,” Soobin says in exasperation, “you don’t have to _disinfect_ the couch, we were just kissing—”

“You were making out!” Beomgyu screeches, pointing an accusing finger at him. “The proof is literally on your necks! I saw things I never wanted to see and heard things I never wanted to hear!” Beomgyu rants before absolutely hosing the couch down with Lysol.

At least Kai has the decency to look mildly embarrassed this time, though he’s still completely disregarding Beomgyu’s “punishment” as he leans against Soobin. 

When Beomgyu seems satisfied, he stalks over to them in annoyance. “Now go to your rooms and think about what you’ve done,” he says primly. “Separately.”

“Can I go work in the yard,” Kai tries, because he’s already slept enough and there’s literally nothing in his room to entertain himself with. 

“Nice try.” Beomgyu narrows his eyes. “Did you forget you have flowers in your hair? You already did your yard work for today,” Beomgyu says, looking pleased at himself for drawing the connection. “Go to your rooms, you’re grounded.” 

Kai looks at Soobin in confusion as he touches his hair, blushing when he feels the petals. His lips form an ‘o’ of understanding. 

Soobin sighs. Beomgyu’s being dramatic, but justified; they’re in the wrong here. Even if it’s totally just Kai’s fault. He fishes his phone out of his pocket to give to the younger. Kai would probably sleep through the “detainment”, but it gives Soobin peace of mind knowing that Kai at least has a choice (other than completely refusing to comply, of course). 

“I’m going to be in the living room,” Beomgyu announces. “So don’t try anything.”

Of course.

Soobin almost falls off his chair when Kai shows up in his room not ten minutes later. 

“Kai,” he hisses, heart skipping a beat when he sees that he almost deleted half of his paper. He quickly saves his progress before closing his laptop lid. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

Kai looks incredibly smug when he raises a finger to his lips. “I’m not telling!” He doesn’t hesitate to flop onto the bed, burying his head into Soobin’s pillow. “Mmn, missed this.” 

“Your bed is a lot more comfortable,” Soobin points out, now that he’s able to make an objective decision because he’s slept in both.

“Yeah but,” Kai inhales again and snuggles underneath the covers, “this one smells like you.”

“Cute,” Soobin says warmly as he cautiously joins Kai on the bed. He’d purposely avoided their bedrooms for the last few days, thinking that if they were at least in a shared living space, he’d be able to restrain himself. Though he had evidently underestimated Kai’s persuasiveness. He threads his fingers through the younger’s hair, smiling when Kai hums in appreciation, arching towards his touch. Soobin notices with relief that his hair is conspicuously free of flowers. 

Soobin frowns. “Are you sure you’re feeling better?” 

“Yeah, why?” Kai turns to look at him curiously. “Come cuddle, Soobinie.” 

“If you behave yourself,” Soobin says lightly, to which Kai responds with a surprisingly strong tug on his arm, causing him to tumble gracelessly on the mattress. “Very funny,” Soobin deadpans as Kai busies himself with getting comfortable against him. Watching Kai fuss with the sheets and blankets around them makes Soobin want to melt with affection, but he has to help Kai get comfortable before his heart explodes from the cuteness. 

“I asked because you’re still...blooming,” Soobin says after Kai nestles against him, their legs entangling together. “I thought that only happened when you were tired.” 

“Or if I can’t control my magic,” Kai corrects, “which happens for other reasons.” 

“What reasons?” Soobin asks as he absentmindedly twines and untwines their fingers together, liking the feeling of how well they fit together. Not just their hands, everything else too, but there’s something about how the spaces between his fingers are right where Kai’s fit perfectly, there’s something about how their hands always instinctively find each other, there’s something about the way Kai often hooks their pinkies together when they sleep, making promises in their dreams. 

Kai purses his lips, and Soobin sighs. The fairy is unpredictable—sometimes he’ll volunteer information without Soobin even asking, but other times he’ll clam up and refuse to talk at all. It makes learning about him disjointed at best, but Soobin tries to take it in a stride.

“I’m just worried.” 

Kai’s expression immediately softens. “I know,” he mumbles against Soobin’s shoulder, “it’s just embarrassing. It happens to everyone. Except Hyunie.” The last part is muttered underneath his breath as an afterthought. 

“Hyunie?” That’s the name Kai often calls out during his nightmares. 

“My...friend,” Kai says, eyes downcast. “My very important friend.”

“Okay,” Soobin murmurs, stroking Kai’s hand gently. “You don’t need to tell me about them if you don’t want to.” 

“Later,” Kai says, and Soobin doesn’t push. They lapse into a comfortable silence, content with just enjoying each other’s closeness. 

Soobin is considering a quick nap, lulled to sleepiness by Kai’s warmth and the even rhythm of his breathing. 

“You’re not falling asleep, are you?” Kai says teasingly, and Soobin opens his eyes with dissatisfaction. 

“Not if you don’t let me.” 

“You don’t usually take naps at this time,” Kai points out. “You did once, and you were super grumpy when Beomgyu-hyung had to wake you up.” 

“Got me there,” Soobin concedes, then remembers what got them into this situation in the first place. “Kai-ya,” he says, lightly headbutting the younger. “Did the flowers not work?” 

“Oh they worked,” Kai says happily. “I used to have trouble with sensory magic, but I think I got the hang of it now.” 

“Then why didn’t you tell me Beomgyu was coming?” Soobin asks, baffled. 

“Oh, that.” Kai shrugs. “I didn’t want you to stop,” he says, “I got distracted.” 

Soobin stares at him. “You’re shameless,” he finally says with a groan, because he remembers exactly the moment Beomgyu walked into the living room, and it wasn’t when Soobin was kissing him, even though he did spend a fair amount of time doing that too. No, Beomgyu had walked in when Soobin had finally deemed it safe enough to kiss slowly down Kai’s neck, given that they were _supposed_ to have an alarm system. Soobin was too caught up in teasing those wrecked little noises from Kai to register the faint sound of the front door opening. 

“Sorry?” 

Kai does not sound sorry. 

“We should be careful from now on,” Soobin says as he inspects the faint marks on Kai’s neck, most of them already having faded like they should. “And respect Beomgyu’s and Yeonjun’s wishes.” 

“Yeonjunie-hyung didn’t say anything,” Kai says innocently, and Soobin resists the urge to sigh again. Kissing is just another form of physical intimacy that Kai has taken to all too well, and it’s endearing for the most part. Soobin is at a loss as to how to explain boundaries to his fairy boyfriend. 

... _Boyfriend._ The word still makes Soobin’s stomach twist with warmth and a hint of anxiety. 

“Kai-ya,” he says as he realizes with a start, “do fairies take ‘wing-baths’ together in front of other fairies?” 

“Not really,” Kai says, scrunching his nose, “it’s kind of intimate. And we only let those whom we trust deeply to help us.” 

“That’s what kissing is like for humans—some humans,” Soobin corrects wryly. “And if you’re okay with it, I want to keep your kisses,” he says as he brushes his thumb across Kai’s lower lip, “to myself, petal.”

“O-Oh.” Kai’s cheeks are building up to a flush as peonies start to dot his hair. “I see.” 

Soobin can’t shake off the feeling of concern no matter how many times Kai has reassured him that he's completely recovered from being exhausted of mana. If that’s the case, then why do the flowers keep appearing? 

But then Kai’s eyes flutter shut and he squeezes closer. Soobin isn’t in the habit of refusing Kai, so he closes the negligible distance and kisses him, soft and sweet as he cups the younger’s face and angles them until their lips slot together perfectly.

He doesn’t ever want moments like these to end. 

Later, when Kai is sleepy and content, Soobin turns his attention to the familiar white flowers on top of them. He vaguely remembers them from the time he slept over in Kai’s bed, back when he had looked so pretty with them in his hair along with the peonies, and despite himself, he starts to frown. He’s seen them somewhere else too, but he can’t remember where. 

“Hyungie,” Kai says sleepily, flicking the flower out of his hand so he can hold it instead. He leans up to barely kiss the corner of Soobin’s mouth before dropping his head tiredly back onto the pillow. “They’re gardenias,” he says with a sigh, eyes sliding shut. “I gave some to Beomgyu-hyung too.” 

“Oh.” That’s why they had looked so familiar. There’s another question on the tip of his tongue, but Soobin holds it back—he always feels guilty for bombarding Kai with questions, especially when his answers just raised more questions. 

“I’m really okay,” Kai insists as he interlaces their fingers. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Soobin says, trying to keep his voice light even though he’s frustrated over not knowing. 

“Yeah, but you’re thinking so hard I can feel it.” Kai huffs before burying his face into Soobin’s chest. “I can’t control them when I’m around you,” he mumbles, “you make me feel too much sometimes.” 

Soobin blinks, head whirling with thoughts. What did he mean by that?

Kai briefly fumbles for something before he finds what he’s looking for, placing Soobin’s phone next to him. “I saw the flower finder,” he says, voice muffled because his face is still pressed stubbornly against Soobin’s chest. “I don’t know if you already know, but they appear based on my emotions. Even if I don’t know of them.” Kai curls the hand laying on his chest into a fist. “It’s supposed to get better with time, the more I get used to you. Sorry for not telling you earlier, Soobinie.” 

Soobin strokes Kai’s back soothingly. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to tell me. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

“I didn’t want you to worry over something dumb,” Kai says crossly. 

Soobin smiles as he pets Kai’s hair. “You’re sweet, Kai-ya, thank you. How about I don’t look up the meanings of the flowers anymore? Since it’s not something you can control for now.” 

“Really?” Kai props his head up, his eyes large. 

Soobin squeezes Kai’s cheeks. “Of course. If you’re okay with it, I might still ask.” 

Kai nods. “Gardenias mean _you’re lovely,_ ” he says shyly as he flexes his fingers against Soobin’s. 

Soobin smiles fondly and presses a kiss against Kai’s forehead. “You’re lovelier.” 

Kai blushes a light pink, and Soobin doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of seeing him like this. 

(Though they do have a difficult time explaining how Kai had ended up in Soobin’s room later. Soobin tries to convince Beomgyu that Kai must have slipped underneath his nose somehow.) 

✿

Soobin’s phone is full of photos of Kai. Even in the beginning, time always felt like it was passing too quickly. When Kai leaves, these photos will be the only proof that he even existed in the first place.

“You’re whipped, man,” Yeonjun comments when he catches a glimpse of Soobin’s screen. “When’s Mama Choi gonna meet him?” 

Soobin’s smile is bitter. Why also put his mother through heartbreak? Kai can’t even leave the house, he’s practically bound to The Grove. 

“Later,” Soobin answers, like he does every time.

Kai glances at him in amusement when Soobin coos at the pack of raccoons, and one particularly brave raccoon climbs into his lap.

“I don't really know why you like them so much," Kai says as he works on transferring mana to a bush of light pink roses, "they're kinda mean most of the time."

Soobin covers the raccoon's ears. "Shh," he admonishes, "you're gonna hurt her feelings."

Soobin watches as Kai plants the seed in the soil. The birch tree isn’t quite grown yet, but Kai has decided he’s ready to work on another tree. This one is a cherry tree, which Kai says won’t bloom until the portal is ready. 

Kai says he wants Soobin to pick the next tree when it’s time, and Soobin has trouble blinking away the tears when they come later that night. 

“I know I’m not crazy,” Soobin says as he squints at Kai’s pristine white Balenciaga sweater. “I know for a _fact_ that got ruined in the wash.” 

Kai looks at his clothes disinterestedly. He’s taken to wearing Soobin’s clothing more often than not, but he has to take breaks sometimes, otherwise Soobin’s going to run out of clothes, especially when Kai keeps on taking all of the comfortable hoodies. 

“Magic,” he says simply, and the sweater turns jet black before returning to its original pure white. The look on disbelief on Soobin’s face makes him giggle and explain, “I can manipulate plant fibers.” 

“Of course,” Soobin says faintly, “that’s very convenient.” 

A few months into their relationship, he learns that the forest fairies have some contacts in the human world who maintain their finances. Soobin supposes it makes sense why money wouldn’t be a problem for them given that they were essentially immortal and passed down their wealth through the ages, though he still struggles to wrap his mind around how much money Kai stated they had (an amount that definitely is in excess of how much their _government_ ran on).

“My parents are going to pay off the rest of this house when I leave,” Kai slips in casually, “as a token of their gratitude.” 

Soobin almost spits out his coffee. “What?” 

Kai smiles, sadness tinging the edges. “More money than your government, remember?”

“You really don’t have to,” he says quietly, thinking about how Beomgyu had stubbornly refused for his own wealthy parents to buy the house for him. 

“They want to,” Kai murmurs back. “I want to.” 

Kai is incredibly fond of egg tarts, to the point where he’s driven to tears. 

“They don’t have these in Sanctuary,” Kai sniffles, and Soobin has to smile, has to quickly move them onto another topic because it’s all he can do to not break apart. 

“Soobin,” Kai says as they lay in the grass, looking at the night sky. “Am I special?” 

Soobin chuckles. “Of course.” 

Kai rolls on top of him with a pout. “Am I special because I’m a forest fairy? Would I still be special if you met another fairy?”

“You’re not special just because you’re a forest fairy,” Soobin says, heart aching with affection as he holds Kai in his arms, “you’re special because you’re Kai Kamal Huening, and you’re mine.” 

Soobin had only learned of Kai’s full name recently, because ‘names have power’, and he takes every chance to use it. 

Kai giggles and kisses him, and Soobin thinks breathlessly that he’s more beautiful than any of the constellations that they had been looking at. 

Kai’s wings are gorgeous, even though Soobin can’t see them properly. They’re blindingly bright and iridescent. 

“It’s a lot harder to hide them during the day,” Kai explains, “the glamour uses a lot more mana, which means I can’t spend as much on The Grove. But I can’t just stay away from the sun all the time,” Kai says as he tilts his face upwards, as if to feel the sunlight better. 

_You are my sun,_ Soobin thinks. 

“Taehyun—I call him Hyunie—is Sanctuary’s prince,” Kai says. “We’ve been close since we were born.” He smiles with a certain fondness that Soobin can’t measure up to. “I helped him fly, and he helped ground me. He’s my other half. Everyone calls us soulmates.” 

Soobin must look disgruntled, because Kai crawls into his lap and nuzzles his neck. “I was whole with him, but Soobinie, you make me 120%.” 

It isn’t long before Kai starts to talk about Taehyun all the time, and Soobin tries and fails and tries and fails and tries and fails to let go of his jealousy. Soobin knows Kai’s not choosing just Taehyun when he returns, but his family, his world, his magic. He knows that Kai doesn’t think of Taehyun in that way.

But Taehyun will be by his side while Soobin lives an unfulfilled life without Kai outside of Sanctuary. Even though Taehyun had been the one to stay in Sanctuary instead of coming with Kai (“He didn’t _really_ have a choice,” Kai explains with a pout, “stop looking like you’re going to murder him if you ever meet.”) 

As the months fly by, he finds that he’s more than jealous. He’s desperate. But he’s been desperate for a long time now.

Soobin chooses wisteria, and Kai doesn’t try to hide his wet eyes when Soobin plants the tree seed.

✿

“Agrimony,” Kai says as he tickles Soobin under the nose with a stalk of the yellow flowers, “means thankfulness.” 

“Phlox,” Kai says, “means harmony.” 

“Yellow chrysanthemums,” Kai says with a smile, “like the ones you crushed the first night. They mean ‘precious one’ _._ ” 

“Heliotropes mean devotion.” 

“Moonflowers,” and Kai mumbles the explanation, “means dreaming of love.” 

“Phlox again,” Kai says as he bundles the vibrant blooms into a bouquet, even though they’ll disappear soon. “They also mean ‘our souls are united’.” 

“Red roses,” Kai says, and he looks vulnerable as he gazes into Soobin’s eyes. “What do you think?” 

“That you’re right,” Soobin answers, taking Kai into his arms and kissing him.

“What about petal?” Soobin teases. 

Kai blushes. “S-Something you call your betrothed.” 

“Oh really,” Soobin says with mirth in his smile, “you were ambitious.” 

“You said it first!” 

“But you _let_ me,” Soobin says smugly, and Kai huffs until Soobin kisses his embarrassment away.

✿

The Grove is shielded with a heavy glamour. Except for Kai and Soobin, there’s no one else who can see it for what it truly is. 

The day the cherry tree blooms, gorgeous and pink, comes too quickly. 

Kai pens two letters—one for Beomgyu, and one for Yeonjun. His handwriting is childish, although it suits the little practice Kai has with their language. Kai doesn’t think he can bid them farewell in-person, but to the days leading up to his departure, he makes sure to lather them with extra affection. Beomgyu and Yeonjun pick up on it, but they don’t think much of it—why would they have to? 

Soobin, though, comes apart at the seams. 

There’s no amount of comfort Kai can provide to make him feel better, not when he’s leaving and taking a part of Soobin with him. 

“Here,” Soobin says hoarsely during their last night together, slipping a ring onto the fairy’s delicate finger. He’d been able to buy it with all the money he saved from rent. It’s a custom piece, not glittering with diamonds, but with other gemstones made to resemble several flowers—a primrose, rosemary, and a tulip. Inside, painstakingly engraved, are their full names. 

Kai looks at him wordlessly, because there’s been so little to say the past few days. They’re almost numb at this point. 

Until now it’s always been Soobin needing to take breaks, Soobin needing to cry every once in a while, Soobin feeling hopeless. But now, when there’s everything left to lose, tears start rolling down Kai’s cheeks, and he doesn’t stop sobbing against Soobin for a long, long while. 

“It’s one-way,” Kai says needlessly. “I—” He bites his tongue harshly. Soobin had begged Kai not to give him any hope of him returning since he wasn’t sure if he even could. “Well, it’s finished now,” Kai says, eyes wet. He taps his chin, but the effect is somewhat ruined by his tears. “I’ll name it Choi-Huening’s Grove.” 

“You’ve been planning that, haven’t you?” Soobin tries to say with a smile, but it’s simply not possible, and he stifles a sob as he gathers Kai into his arms one last time. “I’m going to miss you so much, petal.” 

“I’m going to miss you more,” Kai says thickly, head buried against Soobin’s chest. “So much more.”

“I love you,” he manages to whisper, hand petting Kai’s hair, lips pressed against his forehead.

“I love you too, my everything.” 

Kai hooks their pinkies together in an unspoken promise, and their hands stay suspended like that for minutes before Kai lets go with one last tearful look back. “Believe in me,” he whispers, and Soobin doesn’t have time to think about what he means, because he’s too busy breaking apart as Kai walks through the portal, fading with a shimmer and disappearing from this world. 

His sun, his heart, his _petal,_ he’s gone. 

✿

Soobin never really stops grieving. The grove doesn’t disappear, though Soobin half-wishes it would, because it continues to thrive and flourish, just like it had when Kai was tending to it. At the beginning, he would sit by the white clovers, arbutus, and wormwood every week and cry. Those were the last flowers Kai left behind with his magic, and as stupid as it was, it was the closest he could feel to Kai, especially when his favorite raccoon continued to visit. 

But he can’t stay broken forever. He has a dissertation to finish, he has to graduate, he has to find his way in the world without Kai. His visits to their grove become less and less often as he buries himself in work. 

Beomgyu and Yeonjun worry over him constantly, always nagging him to eat properly and get out of the house every once in a while. It takes the better half of a year before Soobin can take the route he used to take, the one that passes by the quaint little cafe he used to buy egg tarts from for Kai. 

To say he moves on is untrue. His phone wallpaper remains a photo of them together the night they shared their first ‘I-love-you’s’ and he has a gallery full of photos and a heart full of memories and an ocean’s worth of tears. But he picks up the remaining pieces of himself so he can live, like Kai made him promise, even though he remains stubbornly in the past, unwilling to accept that all hope is totally lost.

Because even though it’s not rational, Soobin clings onto the last bit of hope he has of Kai maybe not being totally gone—when he had said, _“Believe in me.”_

A year passes, and spring comes again. 

✿

When Beomgyu and Yeonjun received their letters, they ended up with more questions than answers. 

In messy scrawl at the bottom, Kai wrote, _I will do my best to return, but under no circumstances are you to tell Soobin-hyung. I know he will suffer, we will both suffer, but this is a promise I can’t break. You see, I…_

And when weeks pass but the flowers Kai gave Beomgyu stay fresh, like they haven’t aged a day, they believe Kai’s fantasy story.

Soobin is working on his interview questions with his roommates when he _feels_ the change in the atmosphere. He looks up, startled, and it’s clear that Beomgyu and Yeonjun feel it too. 

“Holy fuck,” Yeonjun curses, “has our backyard always looked like that?” 

Soobin jerks his head to the window. “What do you mean?” 

“Like _that,_ ” Beomgyu adds unhelpfully, “we had trees?!” 

“You can see it?” Soobin asks in disbelief. 

“What do you mean?” Yeonjun asks. “Have you always been able to see that?”

But Soobin doesn’t answer him, because he swears he sees a ripple, right at the spot where Kai disappeared a year ago. He doesn’t even put his shoes on, just runs outside and down the stairs in his slippers. 

He thinks he stops breathing when he sees Kai again, in the same stupid expensive designer clothes he had on when they first met. 

There’s an extremely dressed up and handsome red-haired stranger who came with him, and as moments pass with Kai and Soobin staring at each other, frozen in their places, the stranger shakes his head and shoves Kai forward, giving him the momentum to run the rest of the way into Soobin’s arms. 

“Why are you back,” Soobin says, hugging Kai tightly, voice brittle and bordering on a sob, “why aren’t you home?”

“My home is with you,” Kai says with so much conviction that Soobin dares to believe him, “it always has been.” He kneels. “Choi Soobin, will you marry me?” 

“OH MY GOD,” Beomgyu screeches from the stairs as Yeonjun cheers. 

Soobin’s heart is stuck in his throat as he looks at the rings. How—he can’t—

“Hyuka, you idiot, you can’t just ask him something like that without explaining things,” the stranger says. He bows at the waist to a still-speechless Soobin. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Choi Soobin. My name is Taehyun. Let me explain.” Taehyun rolls his eyes as he points to the rings. “They look simple, but they’re made out of pure Stygian iron. You can tell everyone else they’re silver.” He smiles wryly, and for some reason, looks hurt. “The moment Hyuka puts that on, he’ll effectively become a mortal. He will never be able to take it off, and will live the rest of his days as a human.” 

Kai nods. “Don’t ask me if I’m sure,” he adds, “I’ve been sure since I left.” He lowers his voice. “Since before I left, actually. So…” He looks up at Soobin, gaze unwavering, _trusting,_ “will you be mine?”

“I—” he glances nervously back at Beomjun and Yeonjun, who both give him enthusiastic thumbs-ups, and then to Taehyun, who nods regally at him. “Yes, of course,” he says, a bit light-headed, still not believing that Kai was truly back, but then he was an idiot not to, wasn’t he? When it was Kai who had said to believe in him.

Kai kisses his hand after he slips on the band of iron, and the trust in his eyes when he holds out his own hand is almost enough to make Soobin burst into tears. Somehow he doesn’t, somehow he holds himself together even as the grass around them fills with red roses. 

He smiles a watery smile. 

“I’m going to miss you with peonies in your hair,” he says, and the universe seems to hold its breath as he slides the ring onto Kai’s finger. 

The roses around them vanish, and not only the roses, but the trees, too, start to fade, until all that’s left of their grove are primroses and tulips, flourishing in March. 

Kai looks at him with shining eyes. “You planted those?” 

“I thought of you every day,” Soobin says, tugging Kai close so he can finally kiss him. 

“I now pronounce you lawfully wed,” Taehyun says in monotone, and Soobin jerks back. 

“Wait, what?” he yelps. “Wait, no, I thought we were doing the engagement thing first!” Soobin panics. “My mom’s going to kill me!” 

Taehyun chuckles at him. “You can plan your mortal wedding together,” he says, “but as Sanctuary’s king and as Hyuka’s keeper, I just needed to see the rings on your fingers.” 

“King?” Soobin echoes, fidgeting because Taehyun is a lot more impressive and intimidating in person, “um. Congratulations.” 

Kai tucks himself against Soobin’s neck and laughs, and Soobin flushes but keeps a firm hand on his waist. He’s never letting go. 

And time starts again. 

**Bonus**

“So how is the cute red-head gonna get back,” Yeonjun asks, eyeing their guest bedroom. Beomgyu smacks him. 

“Shut up, I saw him first.” 

Kai smiles as he brushes his thumb over his and Soobin’s interlaced fingers. 

“He might stay for a while.” 

**Author's Note:**

>  **flower glossary**  
>  Thorn-apple - disguise  
> Magnolia - love of nature  
> Peony - shame, bashfulness  
> White flowers (gardenia) - secret love, you’re lovely, sweet love, joy, good luck  
> Agrimony (unfamiliar yellow flowers) - thankfulness  
> Bellflower - disappointment, loss  
> Eglantine rose - a wound to heal  
> Lilac (purple) - first emotion of love  
> Poppy (red) - pleasure  
> Chrysanthemum - I love (red) precious one (yellow)  
> Rose (light pink) - desire, passion, joy of life, youth, energy  
> Lavender - devotion  
> Wisteria - serious devotion, romance, love, tenderness, support  
> Phlox - harmony, “Our souls are united”, “We think alike.”  
> Heliotrope - devotion  
> Moonflower - dreaming of love  
> Rose (red) - true love  
> Primrose - eternal love  
> Rosemary - remembrance  
> Tulip (purple) - forever love  
> White clover - I promise  
> Arbutus - You’re the only one I love  
> Wormwood - bitter sorrow
> 
> ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ 
> 
> i left some things up to interpretation! there were so many loose ends that were driving me crazy, but i didn't want to neatly tie up everything. i hope i was able to lay a foundation for you to build on if you wish!
> 
> &i'm participating in a secret santa txt fest 🥺 i wanted to write one prompt per month to give myself some leeway, but i realized late that we don't post them until after christmas (this is my first time participating okay ; ; ) so uh..... i think i might be posting like five fics on 12/26 i'm not exactly sure of the details yet. i'll try to work on things in between (mostly sookai hp fic) but not sure what i'll have time for!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yourcutiekai) & [ask](https://curiouscat.me/dracometria) >3<♡ 
> 
> i may be spending more time on prompts/shorts/etc. to post on my twt instead of full fics. you can find the thread [here! ](https://twitter.com/yourcutiekai/status/1285896897400647680)


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